


cc/bcc

by moonvalentine



Category: Naruto
Genre: E-mail, Epistolary, Gen, Hokage Uzumaki Naruto, Post-Chapter 700 (Naruto)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-07-31 15:03:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20117038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonvalentine/pseuds/moonvalentine
Summary: Konoha gets its own e-mail server. It pretty much goes downhill from there.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> maybe this will be ongoing and maybe not. depends on how much i'm down for a laff at naruto's (or rather iruka's) expense. which is usually always.
> 
> xoxo

**from: Information Technology of Konoha <[it@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:it@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 8:33 AM**

**subject: Welcome!**

Good morning chuunin, jounin, teachers, medic-nin, board members, staff, and our esteemed Hokage-sama!

We are excited to announce that after a long several years of development, our electronic mail server is finally up and running. This server is secure and encrypted against any outside attempts to decode or log in to view our communications. That being said, all classified communication should still be limited to the regular protocol, as we are still working out the kinks in the system and would prefer to keep our risk of informational leak at a minimum. 

For the time being, please enjoy our electronic mailing system (or ‘e-mail,’ as we have fondly been referring to it) as a way to send messages, updates, and non-classified correspondences at your leisure. We hope you will find e-mail a convenient way to communicate simple messages in lieu of mail by hawk or teleportation/displacement jutsu, and we look forward to further development of our systems.

If you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail us at <[ it@hiddenleaf.com ](mailto:it@hiddenleaf.com)>, or, for those of you needing direct, in-person assistance, please visit us at the new Information Technology Office located in the Hokage Tower.

Thank you and have a great day!

Information Technology Help Desk

Konoha Hokage Tower | Room 213

*****

**from: Nara Shikamaru <[narashik@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:narashik@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 8:36 AM**

**subject: RE: Welcome!**

translation: 

don’t fuck this up.

i’ve been busting my ass trying to get this to work so be nice.

Nara Shikamaru, Jounin

Hokage Council

*****

**from: Yamanaka Ino <[ymnkaino@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:ymnkaino@hiddenleaf.com)>**

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 8:46 AM**

**subject: RE: re: Welcome!**

You? Busting your ass? That’ll be the day. Does this go to the whole village? If so, I want to let everyone know that you were the worst lay I ever had. Have a nice day!

Yamanaka Ino, Chuunin

Owner | Yamanaka Flowers

Certified Medical Ninja

*****

**from: Yamanaka Ino <[ymnkaino@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:ymnkaino@hiddenleaf.com)>**

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 8:48 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: Welcome!**

PS how do I change my signature? This one is boring

Yamanaka Ino, Chuunin

Owner | Yamanaka Flowers

Certified Medical Ninja

*****

**from: Nara Shikamaru <[narashik@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:narashik@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 8:51 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: Welcome!**

losing my virginity to you was bad enough. being called ‘sasuke-kun’ the whole time didn’t exactly help me keep it up.

Nara Shikamaru, Jounin

Hokage Council

*****

**from: Tenten <[tenten10@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:tenten10@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 8:54 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: Welcome!**

If we could keep it PG, people, that would be great.

Ino, I’ll pop by the store now to help you customize your signature. 

Tenten, Jounin

IT Department Co-Founder

Fuinjutsu Specialist

Head Proctor | Chuunin Exams 

*****

**from: Yamanaka Ino <[ymnkaino@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:ymnkaino@hiddenleaf.com)>**

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 9:08 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: Welcome!**

Tenten,

If Shikamaru were even a fraction as good at popping things as you just were, my fifteenth birthday would have been a lot more exciting.

♥ xoxo, Ino ♥

“If at first you don’t succeed, 

make a genin do it for you.”

*****

**from: Temari <[sunatema@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:sunatema@hiddenleaf.com)>**

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 9:15 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: Welcome!**

I can assure you that when he wants to be, Shikamaru is an outstandingly excellent lay. I wouldn’t have proposed to him otherwise. 

Temari, Jounin

Foreign Policy Diplomat | Wind Country

*****

**from: Nara Shikamaru <[narashik@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:narashik@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 9:19 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: Welcome!**

thanks for emasculating me. again. it’s been more than 3 hours since the last time you did. i was getting worried

Nara Shikamaru, Jounin

Hokage Council

*****

**from: Inuzuka Kiba <[inzukiba@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:inzukiba@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 9:21 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Welcome!**

She didnt half to do that for you dude. Your balls;ve been missing since before naruto farded on me

Inuzuka Kiba, Jounin

Inuzuka Clan Co-Leader

*****

**from: Nara Shikamaru <[narashik@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:narashik@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 9:24 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Welcome!**

at least i don’t get my dog to lick peanut butter off mine every night and call it a relationship

Nara Shikamaru, Jounin

Hokage Council

*****

**from: Shiranui Genma <[shiragen@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:shiragen@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 9:29 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Welcome!**

That’s not a very nice thing to call your wife, Shikamaru.

Shiranui Genma, Tokubetsu Jounin

Hokage Council

Proctor | Chuunin Exams

*****

**from: Umino Iruka <[uminoiru@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:uminoiru@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 9:24 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Welcome!**

Yeah, okay, I knew it. This whole thing was a mistake. 

Umino Iruka, Chuunin

IT Department Co-Founder

Principal | Konoha Ninja Academy

*****

*****

*****

**from: Uzumaki Naruto <[nanadaime@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:nanadaime@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 4:33 PM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Welcome!**

Haha goo

Uzumaki Naruto, Hokage

*****

**from: Uzumaki Naruto <[nanadaime@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:nanadaime@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 1st 4:50 PM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Welcome!**

D one skmarhu

Uzumaki Naruto, Hokage

*****


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i owe the lee thing to a joke from a pal. thank u

**from: Medical <[med@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:med@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 9:00 AM**

**subject: Annuals**

Hello, everyone!

As we get to this time of year, it’s important to keep in mind that your annual check-ups **must be completed** by May 31st, otherwise you will have to pay the required fee and take mandatory mission leave until you have completed your exam. This leave, as some of you know, is **not a vacation,** so keep that in mind as you plan your time accordingly in the coming weeks. 

Appointments can be made over e-mail or with a quick visit to the front lobby of the hospital. However, they are not necessary; walk-ins are welcome 24 hours a day in our shinobi clinic.

For the sake of yourself and the village, please make sure to get yours if you haven’t already. You know who you are.

Please e-mail us at with any questions or concerns about this process. Thank you and have a great week!

Medical Division of Konoha

Senju Tsunade, Founder

Haruno Sakura, Chief Medic

*****

**from: Hatake Kakashi <[rokudaime@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:rokudaime@hiddenleaf.com)>**

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**cc: Medical <[med@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:med@hiddenleaf.com)>**

**date: Monday, May 8th 9:06 AM**

**subject: Re: Annuals**

it’s a trap. don’t do it. everyone knows they just want to harvest your organs for free and use them as street meat.

Hatake Kakashi, Sixth Hokage

Hokage Council

*****

**from: Medical <[med@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:med@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 9:08 AM**

**subject: RE: re: Annuals**

Kakashi,

If you could not make my job and my life harder for one single day, that would be spectacular.

-Sakura

Medical Division of Konoha

Senju Tsunade, Founder

Haruno Sakura, Chief Medic

*****

**from: Medical <[med@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:med@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 9:11 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: Annuals**

Everyone,

Regardless of any status he holds for you as a former leader of this village and country, please disregard any future emails from Hatake Kakashi that mention our work in the medical division. He owes us his life, and he is not to be trusted or respected under any circumstances.

Thank you!

Medical Division of Konoha

Senju Tsunade, Founder

Haruno Sakura, Chief Medic

*****

**from: Hatake Kakashi <[rokudaime@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:rokudaime@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**cc: Medical <[med@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:med@hiddenleaf.com)>**

**date: Monday, May 8th 9:13 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: Annuals**

apologies, sakura-chan. you know it’s all in jest. except for those abominations you call a ‘routine genital exam.’ no one enjoys a hot needle through the middle of their bottle rocket.

Hatake Kakashi, Sixth Hokage

Hokage Council

*****

**from: Haruno Sakura <[hrnosaku@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:hrnosaku@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**cc: Hatake Kakashi <[rokudaime@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:rokudaime@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 9:15 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

You know, sometimes I get annoyed with you, like I know you’re hoping I will. And then I realize that no one who would believe you knows how to read, and I feel so much better.

Haruno Sakura, Jounin

Chief Medic | Medical Division of Konoha

*****

**from: Uzumaki Naruto <[nanadaime@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:nanadaime@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 9:22 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

Hgey not kool i cen read

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uzumaki Naruto, Hokage

*****

**from: Nara Shikamaru <[narashik@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:narashik@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 9:24 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

you do realize we’re in the middle of a meeting

Nara Shikamaru, Jounin

Hokage Council

*****

**from: Ebisu <[knhebisu@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:knhebisu@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 9:25 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

Can you two please go one meeting without talking about penises

Ebisu, Tokubetsu Jounin

Hokage Council

*****

**from: Hatake Kakashi <[rokudaime@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:rokudaime@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**cc: Ebisu <[knhebisu@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:knhebisu@hiddenleaf.com)>**

**date: Monday, May 8th 9:27 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

absolutely not, ebisu.

Hatake Kakashi, Sixth Hokage

Hokage Council

*****

**from: Hatake Kakashi <[rokudaime@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:rokudaime@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**cc: Ebisu <[knhebisu@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:knhebisu@hiddenleaf.com)>**

**date: Monday, May 8th 9:28 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

naruto also says absolutely not, but *apparently* he’s not allowed to use his computer anymore.

Hatake Kakashi, Sixth Hokage

Hokage Council

*****

**from: Nara Shikamaru <[narashik@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:narashik@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 9:29 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

give me your computer kakashi-sama. ebisu will look through your search history and i don’t care enough to. your choice

Nara Shikamaru, Jounin

Hokage Council

*****

**from: Sarutobi Konohamaru <[srtbknhm@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:srtbknhm@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 9:40 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

What do bottle rockets have to do with genital exams??

Sarutobi Konohamaru, Jounin

Genin Cell Leader and Instructor

*****

**from: Rock Lee <[rockulee@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:rockulee@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 10:11 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

Sakura-San! Good Morning!!!

I saw your email and wanted to privately ask you a Medical Question…..

I Seem to have a kind of growth below my Groin area. It is red and itchy and smells….

This has happened before but it is not because of my Suit….It is a different kind of rash!!! It burns when I urinate as well.

Is it possible to contract an illness or allergy on the Groin area from contact with certain kinds of materials?

Thank You!! I am sorry to ask such an embarrassing question!!!! Thank You!!!!!

Rock Lee, Jounin

Genin Cell Leader and Instructor

*****

**from: Aburame Shino <[abrshino@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:abrshino@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 10:15 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

Lee-san,

I would advise you to check the recipients of your email before sending another.

Aburame Shino, Jounin

Instructor | Konoha Ninja Academy

Proctor | Chuunin Exams

*****

**from: Inuzuka Kiba <[inzukiba@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:inzukiba@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 10:20 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

HOOOOLY SHIT LEE. WAT DID U FUCK THIS TIME

Inuzuka Kiba, Jounin

Inuzuka Clan Co-Leader

*****

**from: Umino Iruka <[uminoiru@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:uminoiru@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 10:34 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

Just so everyone is aware, there is a way to send an e-mail without replying to every single person in Konoha who has been given an e-mail address. Just making that explicitly clear in case it wasn’t already.

Umino Iruka, Chuunin

IT Department Co-Founder

Principal | Konoha Ninja Academy

*****

**from: Yakushi Kabuto <[ykshkbto@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:ykshkbto@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 10:41 AM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

If you’re so smart, why don’t you know how to use it?

Yakushi Kabuto, Genin

Department Head | Konoha Center for Disadvantaged Youth

*****

**from: Haruno Sakura <[hrnosaku@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:hrnosaku@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**cc: Uchiha Sasuke <[uchisasu@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:uchisasu@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 11:00 AM**

**subject: Goodbye**

I will now be defecting the village, effective immediately.

Please do not email me ever again.

Haruno Sakura, Jounin

Chief Medic | Medical Division of Konoha

*****

*****

*****

**from: Yamashiro Aoba <[ymsraoba@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:ymsraoba@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**to: ‘ALL’ <[all@hiddenleaf.com](mailto:all@hiddenleaf.com)> **

**date: Monday, May 8th 12:21 PM**

**subject: RE: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Annuals**

My question is, who the hell gave Kabuto an email address?

Yamashiro Aoba, Tokubetsu Jounin

Intelligence Division of Konoha

*****


End file.
